Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
