I want to make a zoo with you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
