Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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