Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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