That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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