Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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