Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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