Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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