I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize