I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
