i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
