I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
