people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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