Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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