TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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