just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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