I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
