They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
