New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
