I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
