dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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