is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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