so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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