I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i've created a new STD.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
