Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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