i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
