Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
