i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it glows. i had to have it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
