Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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