Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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