I bet he comes in French.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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