I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
