I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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