so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
