if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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