Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
