I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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