i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
