It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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