That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
