you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
