margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
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Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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