Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
