I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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