So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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