I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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