i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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