I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
