I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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