when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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