I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
