I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
