I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
