Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
