I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
