I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
