Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
