i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
