Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
